Feeling down

(Edited on 9 Nov)
Feeling very down this morning after reading Charmaine's blog. Confirmed HAMA positive. Don't know who I can talk to, feel so depressed the whole journey in the train. Even think I should stop reading Charmaine's blog as it really affects my emotion. My day will go very happy whenever I read she is doing well with her treatment. My heart sank when I know she is suffering.

My mind just keep on rolling with all these nonsense. Start thinking what if this happened to my own kid?? Why should I bring my kid to this world and let them suffer?? I know I was not thinking right...

Dear Lord, I know life is full of obstacles and YOU are testing on us. While YOU are testing on us, please also give us strengths to fight. She is just a little girl who still has long journey to explore in her life. I am sure YOUR love will make things smoother eventually. Love you, Lord.

And now when I am writing, I know I can't stop reading Charmaine's blog. I won't have a peaceful mind each day without knowing how is she. She is just a stranger to me, but my heart goes to her. I guess this is so called 母性的天质吧！

p/s: I also need strength in daily life, still not doing well as a wife and mother. Feel so lousy :(

dd and me feel so relief when knowing Charmaine's scan is all cleared! Thanks be to God! Amen.